Living in suburbia can often lead to a sheltered lifestyle, a life that could leave you no option but exposure and loss in solitude. After all it is your next door neighbor that opened the blinds as you pulled in the driveway at two in the morning. They were not concerned about your safety but more important they were wondering what you were doing out at that hour and if someone else was in the car. If they did see as much as a shadow they might suggest he was much taller than your husband and be quick to offer any information to the members of the PTA at your child’s school. After all they were at the local bar until one and don’t remember seeing you there, so where were you?
Since I am not a member of a small community you might wonder how I would know so much about the people who reside in one. Working as a bartender has provided me with more of the suburban culture than I ever cared to know. I enjoy my job and have come to love some of the “regulars” who come in, but there is a certain stigma that is associated with a small town suburban bar. It appears as though everyone knows everything about one another and they are quick to offer any information that you might want, or not want to hear.
“Did you know Toby’s wife left him three day ago?” This is yelled in my direction as Toby sits three seats down looking very glum sipping his vodka tonic. “He has completely lost it!”
I am still unsure if people refuse to listen when they hear their friends screaming to the whole bar about their so called “private” life. From my experience you can hear a man’s brother shout out that his wife has been having an affair but the women will make quiet whispers about her boob job. Either way it is all the same because within five minutes everyone knows about it. Women are more subdued when throwing their friends “under the bus” but definitely more vicious. It could be boredom or it could be competition. I like to think it is a nicely mixed cocktail combining the two.
Women who are forty are now looking twenty and whether they are accepting compliments on their $150 t-shirt or trying to refer you to their doctor for Botox, they are all there supporting one another’s lifestyle no matter how bizarre it might seem to an outsider. They might come in after a three hour workout to enjoy a small salad and a couple cocktails, obviously using more of their daily caloric intake on drinks rather than spoil it on food.
You might hear women talking more about their divorce attorney’s than their children’s school teacher and you might fall victim to their ex-husband asking you out on a date. After all in a small town where everyone goes to the same bar, there is little variety for the single middle aged man ready to jump back in the dating scene.
For me it is a job and I cannot lie, the "regulars" do pay my bills. But for them it is much more, and although I enjoy my job it has lead me to fear a suburban lifestyle. Is this all that there is to look forward too? Will I someday join a mommies group and meet the moms for happy hour, leaving the tots at home? Is this the lifestyle that we are supposed to strive for or this just a place to cover up our true problems by pointing attention to everyone else’s?
A very interesting column topic. And one that could provide fodder for lots of columns this fall: Life in a Suburban Bar.
ReplyDeleteI think it would make for a stronger lead to jump right into the bar (without breaking any glasses of course), perhaps with a description of one or more of the characters referenced here.
The column is good, but too broad. A narrower, more descriptive focus on, say, the soccer moms pounding Mai Tais might be funnier.
Looking forward to reading more of these.