An Italian Thanksgiving Minus the Spaghetti

Our turkey having a beer before he hit the deep fryer

Thanksgiving Day is always full of entertainment at my mom’s house. There are a total of six siblings including myself and we all have children. My Italian mother cooks enough food for an army so there are always friends that come join the chaos. This is why I saw Thanksgiving as a perfect opportunity to bring my boyfriend to meet the family.

At the time it seemed like a perfect idea. They would all be there and it would be like killing two birds with one stone. Steve is from Texas and his sister Shaunna flew out to spend the holiday with him and since they have no family in town they decided to join my family for Thanksgiving dinner. After being introduced to her we hopped in Steve’s truck with my two children and headed to the Bay Area.

Little did I realize at the time that Steve and Shaunna are two birds and my family would be the stone. Luckily for them they did survive but it would not come without paying a price, which in this case would cost a little dignity.

When we arrived I could tell that everyone was on their best behavior. The kids were all playing outside and the guys were watching football and drinking beer and the girls were enjoying a bottle of pinot grigio. I think the situation took normalcy once the effects of the alcohol began to work.

When I say normalcy I mean normal for a large, loud Italian family. The dinner table conversation is generally built around times that we all shared being intoxicated, and since the kids are at their own table there are no boundaries.

“Gina do you remember that Christmas when I got sick and you were holding my hair?”

“Gina do you remember when grandpa was dying and we drank those three bottles of wine?”

No of course I don’t remember that! Truth is I remember it very well. We were sad and thought that subjecting ourselves to three bottles of wine was appropriate. And I did hold her hair but I was only trying to help.

So my sister Bethanne decides to ask Steve and his poor sister if they knew what a double burner was. This was that point where I decided to go open another bottle of red and imagine I was on another planet.

When I returned Steve and Shaunna are laughing hysterically as Bethanne explains that after dealing with the side effects of digesting spicy food she found out that milk soothes your sore back side. This was when Steve asked, “do you soak your ass in a bowl of milk?” Looking for a distraction I asked my brother Jason to do one of his impressions to get off the topic of double burners.

Jason begins singing Barry Gibb and I know the song very well. It is a duet with Barbara Streisand. Allicyn (another sister) stands up to sing the female role and they continue on with the whole song, “What kind of fool?” We are all cracking up and before I know it is time to go.

I failed to mention to Steve and Shaunna that my family loves to embarrass the person with a new addition at the dinner table. I also failed to mention that none of us have been single in years so this was exciting for them.

Truth is I think it was fun and I was glad that they went. Although my family can be overwhelming they are fun and as long as you set your emotions aside before you sit at the table you are certain to have a good time.

I am thankful to have such a crazy but wonderful family.

When Grown Kids Move Back Home

I remember when I made my decision and the hardest part was setting aside my pride for a brief moment to muster up the courage to sit my parents down and ask if I could move in and live with them while I straighten some things out.

Straightening things out actually ended up being more difficult than initially expected; truth is things were far from getting resolved. I was a few weeks into a divorce and approaching finals at my junior college and I had two small children that were confused.

Adults moving back home has become more common with the fall of the economy and the loss of jobs. This is not just a case of “boomerang” children who move back home after college while in their twenties. According to MSNBC journalist Diane Mapes adults in their thirties and forties are moving back home sometimes with kids and spouses.

“From 2000 to 2008, multigenerational households increased by 24 percent, up to 6.2 million.”

After reviewing statistics it is comforting to know that I am not alone. I am 31 years old and I am approaching my senior year of college. Although my goal is becoming more attainable it is still distant. My initial plan when I moved in with my parents was to stay for six months, save some money and move out. It was actually their idea for me to stay longer. My dad said he would rather I stay until I am done with school so that they can help with the kids.

The perks of living at home are obvious; no rent, help with the kids, an opportunity to pay off debt, the occasional gourmet dinner and the ability to focus on school rather than bills and work. Although it seems like the benefits prevail, there are still some downfalls.

Besides the obvious downfall that I am 31 years old and living at home, I have lost privacy and control of the ways that I want my children raised. My dad believes I do not discipline enough whereas my step mom is always willing to comfort an upset child after they get reprimanded.

My kids spend their weekends with their dad and that is when I work nights as a bartender. I try and respect my parent’s privacy and I try to be non-existent, at least until the kids return. Returning home from work at one in the morning is where I face my biggest challenge at being non-existent.

Every sound is magnified at one in the morning. After I tip-toe to my room and quietly close my door, I pull a bottle of wine off the wine rack that sits on my dresser. Removing the cork in the middle of the night sounds more like opening a bottle of champaign. After the exploding sound I exhale and as I pour my much desired syrah into my glass the glug-glug sound echo’s off the walls. I am too afraid that the T.V will be too loud so I read or write while I wind down with a glass of wine that near gave me a heart attack opening.

I also became accustomed to stashing the empties in my closet. I try and remain self sustained in my room but like most women I am not too good at taking out the trash. This has made for uncomfortable situations on recycle day (which unfortunately for me is only once every two weeks).

Overall I am grateful for the opportunity that I have while finishing school. Living at home as an adult has taught me some important lessons and has offered me time to accomplish what it is that I want in life instead of settling because I have no choice.

Little Boxes on a Hillside

It is hard enough to make ends meet in an upscale suburban neighborhood but for widowed mother of two, Nancy Botwin it seems near impossible. That is until she gets the idea to sell marijuana and uses the money as a means to support her semi-dysfunctional family.

In season one of Showtime’s dark comedy Weeds, Nancy tries to manage motherhood and marijuana but she begins to realize the challenges that the two face when they fail to complement one another. She opens up a bakery as a cover up for her pot business and uses that to substantiate for her income since she is in denial about her real occupation.

“I'm not a dealer; I'm a mother who happens to distribute illegal products through a sham bakery set up by my ethically questionable CPA and his crooked lawyer friend.”

Nancy is able to form a team of valuable members of their community. This team consists of a lawyer, a congressman, a CPA, a lost brother-in-law and eventually her DEA boyfriend. She is able to remain successful because she has this support system in place.

Weeds takes an upscale suburban neighborhood and gives you a look behind the walls of these picture perfect houses and shows you that the lives of those living there are far from perfect. Even Nancy keeps her Hispanic live in housekeeper all though she is struggling financially because as Nancy says, “someone needs to do the dishes.”

The real challenge for Nancy begins when her teenage son begins experimenting with drugs and reveals that he knows that his mother is a drug dealer. Although Nancy is not your typical suburban mom she is no druggie either. Being blackmailed by her teenage son makes raising him very difficult. Her younger son Shane is too busy with his struggles growing up without his dad to realize that his mom is living this unusual lifestyle.

I began this review with the intent to watch one episode and after downloading season 1 from Netflix I stayed awake late watching episode after episode and became subdued and completely addicted. The humor and wit of the main character completely consume any sense of reality and after a while her lifestyle seems admirable and acceptable.

The most enjoyable part for me is her outlook on parenting. Being a single mom of two children I could sympathize with her situation and admire her determination to conquer her problems. The way that she handles the problems that single moms face is humorous and at times disturbing.

I highly recommend that anyone with a great sense of humor watch Weeds. I think the show is cleverly written and the characters all play their roles great. The only downside is that if you begin to watch it be prepared to be stuck in front of the T.V for a long time because like I did you too could be completely consumed.

Ready or not here it comes!

While the fall semester comes to an end, stress levels among students begin to rise.

When the pressure of school escalates it can make college life seem impossible. This is evident with last month’s on campus murder. 19 year old Quran Jones is charged with beating his roommate to death with a baseball bat. Could his act of rage been set off from the demands of school?

While my stress levels are not leading me to act out in rage, it has put a strain on my already complicated life.

Being a Sac State student is difficult enough but when I add the single mom of two small children and a part time bartender to the equation, it seems near impossible. Oh, let’s not forget that it is November and I only have a few weeks to complete 16 more units……well I hope.

My stress levels begin to escalate at 6:00 a.m. when I am lining up three lunches and begin the exhausting process of getting the three of us out the door and off to school. Getting out the door on time is difficult enough but it seems as though my stress levels begin to rise with the sun on my driveway at 7:00 a.m.

At 7:00 a.m. my blood pressure has reached boiling point and the anxiety of yet another day begins to burn through my skin. At 7:00 a.m. I am already 5 minutes late and they (my six year old and three old) should understand the need for urgency.

Unfortunately they don’t and at 7:00 a.m. this is what I may hear while trying to rush two little people in a freezing, dew covered Volkswagen.

“Hurry up and get in the car, we are late!”
“Mom I dropped my breakfast bar”, sobbing.
“Get in and buckle up, I will grab you another one”, grunting.

As I return with a freshly packaged wholesome breakfast from “Mr. Quaker”, my son stares up at me with the biggest brown eyes and says, “Mom I peed my pants.”


This is that point, you know the point where the suns excruciating rays ignite my fuse and cause it to detonate unexpectedly; the point where I follow the blast with a ten minute apology as we drive to school.


Oh wait, I almost forgot I am writing about the stress of school. As students we are supposed to have one job which is attend class and do homework. I apologize I got off track talking about the stress of life.


Truth is I know few people who are just students. Especially given today’s economy, students work and support their families while maintaining their busy school schedule.


Few professors calculate student’s personal lives when piling up term papers, long drawn out readings and the occasional “project”, which means hours of time on an assignment that serves little purpose of the class material.


Professors that understand the balance of life and school still do exist, however they are a small breed and soon will probably be extinct.


In the mean time we as students must try and not let the close of the fall semester get the best of us. No matter what happens in the last four weeks of class we will have deadlines and all nighters. The important thing is that we look ahead at the goal rather than the immediate task at hand. More imperative is to not let the stress that rises with the morning sun completely burn us out, so that we will return next semester, and subject ourselves to chaos all over again.

Welcome to 'Dowdworld'

“It's their reality. We just live and die in it.”

This is how Maureen Dowd views what has become of American politics. They(politicians) make poor choices and we like hamsters in a wheel follow the motions and live that reality.

Dowd began her career with the New York Times in 1983 when she was hired as a metropolitan reporter. She began writing on the op-ed page in 1995 and has been writing columns that have grabbed the attention of readers both supportive and appalled by her work, ever since.

Some say you either love her or hate her but if you were to talk to George Bush senior he might say he has more of an up and down relationship with her than anything else. In an interview with The Early Show Dowd described the elder George Bush’s views on their relationship, “a love/hate relationship, because he loved it when I would tweak the Clintons and hates it when I tweak the Bushes."

Truth is that Dowd has a gift of “tweaking” our countries administration in a way that can make your sides hurt from laughter.

With the release of her book Bushworld in 2004, Dowd spoke of the Bush Dynasty and made strong and often brutal comparisons of the father and son duo.

Her points of view of the Bush family could be what makes people assume that she is liberal but she does not see it that way. “"I think I'm an equal opportunity skeptic," she says. “I used to tweak Clinton just as much...(as Bush).”

It is the tweaking of Clinton (and Monica Lewinsky) that got her the Pulitzer Prize in 1999. This well known scandal was followed by viewers and Dowd was able to put a spin on it that made her stand out from the rest. She refers to Clinton as, “the animal house president” and Hillary as the “enabler”.

She creates caricatures and makes them almost seem made up even though you know that they are real. She refers to George W. Bush as “W” and emasculates Al Gore by saying, “he is practically lactating”.

She has been referred to as a “the most dangerous columnist in America”, by Ariel Levy and possesses qualities that you might find in the strongest man. She has been nicknamed by George W. as the “cobra” and when you look at her red hair and soft appearance you would not suspect that she had so much fire inside of her that is until she either opened her mouth or began writing.

"I have a fear of castration," Dowd explains. "Not fear of being castrated but fear of castrating." It is comments like this that glue her columns to my hand and make it impossible for me to put them down.

She has endured criticism on many levels and does not let it slow her down.

"When I started as a White House correspondent," says Dowd in an interview with Ariel Levy, only the second female in the position in The Times' history, "there was a lot of criticism from guys saying 'she focuses too much on the person, not enough on policy'. I never understood that argument at all.”

Dowd has a talent for taking the frightening reality of American politics and adding humor and wit to make her columns enjoyable and tolerable. It is difficult to read about the same presidential scandals over and over again but Dowd offers a different approach that makes the lives behind White House doors seem more like a T.V sitcom.

I am so relieved that I found a columnist that I can respect and enjoy as much as I do Maureen Dowd. Her strength, humor and intelligence are admirable. She shows society that women can be successful and makes it obvious the power that she has with her words.

What attracts me the most to her columns is that while she pokes fun at political officials, she never takes a stance and stands behind someone just because they lean to the left or the right. She understands that there are faults to every administration and she is not affraid to point them out.

http://www.pulitzer.org/archives/6221