When Grown Kids Move Back Home

I remember when I made my decision and the hardest part was setting aside my pride for a brief moment to muster up the courage to sit my parents down and ask if I could move in and live with them while I straighten some things out.

Straightening things out actually ended up being more difficult than initially expected; truth is things were far from getting resolved. I was a few weeks into a divorce and approaching finals at my junior college and I had two small children that were confused.

Adults moving back home has become more common with the fall of the economy and the loss of jobs. This is not just a case of “boomerang” children who move back home after college while in their twenties. According to MSNBC journalist Diane Mapes adults in their thirties and forties are moving back home sometimes with kids and spouses.

“From 2000 to 2008, multigenerational households increased by 24 percent, up to 6.2 million.”

After reviewing statistics it is comforting to know that I am not alone. I am 31 years old and I am approaching my senior year of college. Although my goal is becoming more attainable it is still distant. My initial plan when I moved in with my parents was to stay for six months, save some money and move out. It was actually their idea for me to stay longer. My dad said he would rather I stay until I am done with school so that they can help with the kids.

The perks of living at home are obvious; no rent, help with the kids, an opportunity to pay off debt, the occasional gourmet dinner and the ability to focus on school rather than bills and work. Although it seems like the benefits prevail, there are still some downfalls.

Besides the obvious downfall that I am 31 years old and living at home, I have lost privacy and control of the ways that I want my children raised. My dad believes I do not discipline enough whereas my step mom is always willing to comfort an upset child after they get reprimanded.

My kids spend their weekends with their dad and that is when I work nights as a bartender. I try and respect my parent’s privacy and I try to be non-existent, at least until the kids return. Returning home from work at one in the morning is where I face my biggest challenge at being non-existent.

Every sound is magnified at one in the morning. After I tip-toe to my room and quietly close my door, I pull a bottle of wine off the wine rack that sits on my dresser. Removing the cork in the middle of the night sounds more like opening a bottle of champaign. After the exploding sound I exhale and as I pour my much desired syrah into my glass the glug-glug sound echo’s off the walls. I am too afraid that the T.V will be too loud so I read or write while I wind down with a glass of wine that near gave me a heart attack opening.

I also became accustomed to stashing the empties in my closet. I try and remain self sustained in my room but like most women I am not too good at taking out the trash. This has made for uncomfortable situations on recycle day (which unfortunately for me is only once every two weeks).

Overall I am grateful for the opportunity that I have while finishing school. Living at home as an adult has taught me some important lessons and has offered me time to accomplish what it is that I want in life instead of settling because I have no choice.