After mixing the four ingredients that comprise a lemon drop I go to the computer to add it to the appropriate tab. When customers come into the bar we start them a tab using where they are sitting at the bar and follow the tab with a name. Most tabs will usually say simple names like “man in coat”, “couple” or “Fred”. This lemon drop was placed on the tab named “swingers”. As bartenders we all know them very well, they are at the bar a few nights a week.
Are swingers a common topic at suburban bars? At my bar we label them this because people come and sit at the bar and talk and as bartenders we listen. It was not until last Christmas that I decided to do some investigating of my own. Well I am not sure you can call it investigating since this was one Christmas party I would have been happy sitting out.
Three months into my divorce the holidays came. It was Christmas night and I was determined to spend it with one person, my bottle of cabernet. I was about into my third glass when a friend intervened and persisted that I go to a Christmas party with her and her husband. Since my “one person” was close to empty I figured I had nothing to lose. I decided it would be a great opportunity for me to do some behind the scenes investigation for work purposes of course.
Just a piece of advice to anyone who has a friend that is coming out of a relationship and feels it is their place to intervene. Do not take them to a “swingers” party on Christmas! The scene was simple, a few couples (four I think) that were drinking heavily and disappearing with the wrong spouse. It was not what I had expected. There was more secrecy than I imagined but this is what was so bothersome to me. Did they try to act like their husbands and wives were not escaping with one another and for God’s sake wasn’t it Christmas!
A few days after my investigative reporting I returned to work and no one was surprised with my results. Actually I got a lot of laughs and everyone said it was not a rumor but these couples did engage in these activities. Didn’t their kids all go to school together? Is this the new era where soccer moms are sleeping with other soccer moms husbands and it was normal? Was I completely out of the loop?
Occording to NEWSWEEK this is a more common topic than we think. In a quiet suburban Dallas neighborhood swingers get together for Cherry Pit Parties. These rendezvous occur on a quiet street by a normal couple that believes open relationships keep a marriage healthy. Jim and Julie are swingers and often host themed parties such as “Naked Twister”. Julie spoke briefly with NEWSWEEK and said that swingers do not come from troubled relationships, "Many people who are swingers believe that it saved their marriage. Now it's part of their marriage and part of who they are.”
Now that I have seen first-hand what occurs behind closed doors in small town suburbia, I am more convinced that swingers are more common than we may think. Although “swinging “is not for me I remain open minded for those who use it to keep the communication in their relationship. After all I am the one with a failed marriage; I am in no position to judge.
The writer has a hot topic here, but might have waited too long to get to the point of the column.
ReplyDeleteAlso, what the heck is a lemon drop? (How is it made?)
On the strong side, the column has several lines like this:
'It was Christmas night and I was determined to spend it with one person, my bottle of cabernet.'
Very clever.
And also shows that the writer has done some research (in this case Newsweek) to bolster her argument.
The writer's final line, which has a nice (if sad) personal touch, probably could have been parlayed into the beginning, too, to tie the column together more tightly.
Just like a well-mixed Lemon Drop Martini...